Battery Energy Drink

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Battery Energy Drink Retail Package Description

Battery Energy Drink comes in a mostly black can that looks something like a Duracell battery. The text colors are gold and white. The front reads, "Battery" in gold, with a bit white plus sign preceeding it. Also, "Energy Drink" in white, then "33cl, 11.2 FL. OZ.". All the other text appears to be in Finnish.

Caffeine Addict's Battery Energy Drink Review

Last week, I think there was a national epidemic of angry pubescent boys, raging about their love for Monster products. I'm surprised they have time to hunt down my reviews and send me poorly-contrived rebuttals and insults, wrought with misspelling, amidst all their internet porn surfing and watching Justin Bieber videos. Everyone knows what you're doing with your sister's Barbie dolls, and not even California is ok with it.

So, to avoid getting feedback from the miscreants, I traveled to Finland for a taste of a product they will probably never see in convenience stores (and even if they do, they won't drink it, because it's not Monster). Battery Energy Drink is a 33cl energy drink which we found is extremely difficult to get into the US. We believe authorities were suspect of me trying to convince the general public to adopt a base 10 measurement system. I mean, who doesn't want the convenience of remembering that there are 4 quarts in a gallon, 5280 feet in a mile or 240 pence in a pound?

Battery Energy isn't a bold deviation from Red Bull. The primary differences being that Battery doesn't seem as sweet or thick, and is more tart. I think Battery is easier to drink, and doesn't make my teeth as furry as Red Bull. Additionally, unlike when I'm finished drinking Red Bull, my gut doesn't feel like I just ate half a bag of Halloween candy.

The active ingredients seem about the same as Red Bull: caffeine, taurine, calories and some B vitamins. The Battery can has some other words, written in some form of reindeer elvish, which I can't read, but have to assume may also be active ingredients.

Battery is available in 24 packs for $42 on Amazon.com. It is Amazon Prime eligible, so you can even have it shipped 2-day for free, if you're a Amazon Prime member, which I highly recommend everyone be. On a closing note, for those who don't know, I'm a big fan of Amazon for telling NC where to stick their asinine affiliate tax legislation. We're approaching the third anniversary of that legislation, somehow the nonsense has not yet been repealed. NC costs me, and by way of my income taxes, the state of NC a great deal of money. I applaud Amazon for sticking to their principles, and I abhor NC for their half cocked ill-contrived legislation, which has cost screamingenergy.com thousands of dollars over the past 3 years. So, join Amazon Prime, buy everything from them, and if you're a NC resident, I strongly discourage you from voting for anyone who voted for the nexus legislation. In their foolish political greed, they attempted to strong arm successful industry and squeeze pennies from well-managed Amazon assets into their bloated, poorly managed, ineffectual state budget coffers. What they actually did was cost many NC business owners like myself a substantial part of their income when Amazon ceased doing business with NC affiliates in response, and other NC residents the taxes we paid on the income we were previously making. The most counter-intuitive legislation of all time. Repeal the laws, and apologize to the people of NC for your foolishness. Whew...I must be going through puberty.

Energy Junkie's Battery Energy Drink Review

Maybe I don't have the refined taste buds of a respected wine taster, but without tasting them side-by-side, I can't tell you a single difference between Battery and Red Bull on taste and energy. So, we won't focus on what's the same.

What I will focus on is that Battery is about 3Fl. Oz. larger than Red Bull. More practically, it's not in the stupid tall/skinny can, so this drink will not tip over in a pre-2005 car cupholder (the ones that don't adjust to drip anything). In addition to getting the extra dink, you can get these larger cans delivered to your house for $1.75 each from Amazon. So, if you like Red Bull, and you can't get Red Bull for less than $1.50, with the convenience of it being delivered in mass to your doorstep, I think Battery is clearly superior.