Celsius Green Tea Raspberry Acai Fitness Drink

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Celsius Green Tea Raspberry Acai Fitness Drink Retail Package Description

Celsius Green Tea Raspberry Acai Fitness Drink comes in a can that looks like an infomercial. The can is mostly blue, with a bright green accents and a magenta band around the top. The rim reads, "GREEN TEA Raspberry Acai" x 2. The front says "Celsius", "Your Ultimate Fitness Partner", then a bullet-ed list:

  • Burns Calories
  • Reduce Body Fat
  • Energize Metabolism
  • Lasting Energy
  • Clinically Validated
It goes on to read, "Green Tea", "Raspberry Acai", "non carbonated", "TASTES GREAT!", "VITAMIN ENRICHED", "Dietary Supplement". Off to the side, some swirly yellow blotch reads, "Powered by MetaPlus" (which we'll cover in the active ingredients section). On the back is another bullet-ed list
  • NO Sugar
  • Low Calorie
  • NO Aspartame
  • Very Low Sodium
  • NO Artificial Preservatives
  • NO High Fructose Corn Syrup
  • NO Artificial Colors or Flavors
Then, oh boy, did they ever right a load of stuff on the back. It reads, "Celsius Your Ultimate Fitness Partner Celsius burns calories without sacrificing taste. Multiple studies show Celsius with moderate exercise burns 100 calories or more per can, increases metabolism, provides lasting energy, helps reduce body fat and improves endurance. Celsius is a pre-exercise supplement drink powered by the unique MetaPlus formula containing good-for-you ingredients, such as Green Tea EGCG, Ginger, Calcium, Chromium, B Vitamins, and Vitamin C, all of which work together to raise metabolism, resulting in a sustained calorie burn while keeping you energized. Celsius alone does not produce weight loss in the absence of a helthy diet and moderate exercise. So whether you walk the dog or exercise at the gym, Celsius is Your Ultimate Fitness Partner." This statement is, of course, riddled with "Statements not evaluated by the FDA" asterisks.

Caffeine Addict's Celsius Green Tea Raspberry Acai Fitness Drink Review



I know, I look homeless, but I'm sure the bank want foreclose for at least another 30 days. I'm sorry for the long hiatus from energy drink reviews, but I've been busy with urology experiments and a democratic national convention where a key speaker was a former president known to have cheated on his wife and lied under oath, and they honored a senator who's family embodied "the 1%", very likely from bootlegging, then he drove a woman (not his wife) off a bridge, left her for dead and conveniently reported it the following morning. Barrack Obama was there too, and he read a speech.

So, I'm back on caffeine, but still surveying the landscape of health and fitness drinks. Celsius is a non carbonated green tea beverage which claims to be the veritable "swiss army knife" of energy, fitness, health and weight loss drinks. It's subtitled, "Your Ultimate Fitness Partner". Celsius claims to:

  • Burn Calories
  • Reduce Body Fat
  • Energize Metabolism
  • (Provides) Lasting Energy
  • (Is) Clinically Validated

The more specific claims, "Celsius with moderate exercise burns 100 calories or more per can". Last I checked, moderate exercise without Celsius will also burn 100 calories or more. More scientifically, they claim that "Green tea with EGCG, Ginger, Calcium, Chromium, B Vitamins and Vitamin C all work together to raise metabolism, resulting in a sustained calorie burn while keeping you energized". Claims like these are not new, I invested a boatload of money into Coca-Cola circa 2006 on news that Coca-Cola and Nestle would be introducing a weight-loss tea. That venture, Enviga, was met with lawsuits on the weight-loss claims, and it appears to have been discontinued circa 2010.

The last noteworthy claim is that it "Tastes Great!". It's supposed to taste like Raspberry Acai, but something needs to be said for the earthy flavor. I don't think it tastes great, as they claim, but it is a far cry better that pestilence Starbucks calls Refreshers. I find Celsius thirst-quenching, but the aftertaste when I burp is noteworthy in its unpleasantness.

I've also been working out, so this "pre-exercise" supplement seemed like a good product to review. I could have overexerted, but it's worth noting I did have some minor chest discomfort a few hours after drinking Celsius. Additionally, if you are not accustomed to drinking large quantities of caffeine, this drink contains 200mg, well over double that of a 8.3 oz. Red Bull.

This drink's msrp is $1.99, in the small library of disjointed information they sent me, they show a page of retailers who sell Celsius, and while there are some big names on there, like Publix and Hannaford, COSTCO is the only one on the list that I know to operate in my state. So despite a laundry list of awards dating back to 2005, I've never heard of Celsius.

Ultimately, I don't know if their claims are true, the findings on Enviga leave me skeptical, as Coca-Cola/Nestle had independent studies to support their claims as well. It's certainly not worth buying on taste, but it has a respectable dose of caffeine and vitamins in a sugar free drink, if that's what you're looking for.

Energy Junkie's Celsius Green Tea Raspberry Acai Fitness Drink Review

Ok, I'm fat, I'm not like orca fat, but my belt hides under my beer gut, I make noises when I lean over to tie my shoe, I have to put antiperspirant in fold most non-Americans don't have. How did I get this way? I refused to exercise, or even get out of my chair. Is it because I want to be unhealthy? No, but life happens, and every day I have this deadline, or that deadline to meet before this meeting, and that appointment. Why do I work so hard? To afford the big television, luxury car, two week vacation overseas and large enough house that people might think we voted for Obama, but large enough to be far away from anyone who did. You know, large enough to clearly demonstrate our financial superiority to our psuedo-friends, who might as well be collectively named "The Joneses".

The down and dirty truth about this drink is, scientifically, I don't see any reason to believe it's any more effective than any other sugar free energy drink on the market. The can puts all sorts of claims in your face, but later qualifies them in a not-so-prominent area of the can text, that it's not going to do anything without exercise. Well, I haven't exercised since the last time I thought I was going to miss the ice cream truck, and I'd be foolish to think I'm going to start because my tea will help me burn 3% of my daily caloric intake, if I exercise the same amount as I would to burn 2.9% of my daily caloric intake drinking a Sugar Free Red Bull or 5 Hour Energy.

Look, this doesn't taste awful, and 200 mg of caffeine is pretty powerful, but I'm going to be honest, I'm not buying this for $2, if it just plain melted away 100 calories. I breath in that many calories on my walk back to the buffet for my sixth plate of meatloaf and macaroni and cheese. I'm fat, I just need to exercise to burn fat. Since I'm not going to do that, I'm probably going to reach for something stronger and more expensive that makes me feel like I'm on crystal meth, because once you're as big as many Americans, you're too far gone to care how you get thin. You just want to be thin, healthy would be nice, but healthy doesn't get me noticed at the beach. So, when my wife gets breast implants, and leaves me for the "life she could (should) have had" (her words, not mine), I'm probably going to take an industrial-strength fat burner, start drinking whey protein for all 5 meals, and dedicating myself to the gym every morning at 4AM, so I can land a younger version of her to leave me again in 10 more years. So, pretty much all the things my superficial wife has been harping on me to do since we got married.