Full Throttle Coffee Energy Vanilla

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Full Throttle Coffee Energy Vanilla Retail Package Description

As you might expect, the Full Throttle Coffee Vanilla can looks a great deal like the Full Throttle Coffee Caramel can. The notable exceptions are: the can is more beige than orange/brown, the rim of the can says "Vanilla" instead of "Caramel" and lastly, the bottom of the can seems to have far less text. The last of these is perplexing, as I no longer have the caramel flavor can, I can't read it in the picture, and I bought these cans on the same day, from the same place. It appears that the caramel may have something written in Spanish at the bottom. Some negligent reviewed (cough...the Stig...cough) didn't record all the text from the can. Unlike Monster, who opts to write a different fantasy adventure story on the back of each can, Full Throttle has, thankfully, opted to slap the same "Go Full Throttle or Go Home!" motivational paragraph on the back of all their coffee cans.

Caffeine Addict's Full Throttle Coffee Energy Vanilla Review

If you, "Like, so ABSOLUTELY LOVE coffee energy drinks...like, you don't EVEN KNOW", you should definitely demand your mom buy you a Full Throttle Coffee Vanilla, as soon as she's done flirting with the convenience store clerk, who's getting her Misty menthol 120s, or you'll throw a temper tantrum and tell your "real dad" that your "new dad" is causing you all the problems that your psychiatrist told you to say he was causing you. You might find that it's equally as enjoyable as Rockstar Roasted Light Vanilla and Starbucks doubleshot Coffee Vanilla. The reason you should find them equally as enjoyable is because the differences in those three drinks is nearly indiscernible.

I know what you're thinking, "Like, I've GOT to have my Starbucks. Without it, I'm SOOOOOOO tired at my horse riding lessons, and when I'm laying out at the pool talking with my BFFs about how Robert Pattinson is such a hottieeee". But seriously, all these coffee drinks are the same. Just insist your mother (or Pam, as she asks you to refer to her in public) buy you a Full Throttle, put an apple sticker on it, and you shouldn't lose any cool points while cruising around in your mom's Escalade, H2, or Excursion. Like an apple customer, I'm encouraging you to "think different" and buy the exact same product...only with a different color case. How progressive of a thinker you are, your friends will surely be impressed directly out of their skinny jeans and obscure band t-shirts.

Surprisingly enough, this is as energizing as all the other coffee energy drinks. Which is about as energizing as brewing a cup of coffee and drinking it...the same way your grandparents have been doing it for 60 years. Remember, "think different" and pay $2.39 for 15fl. oz. can of coffee instead of $4 for enough coffee grounds to operate a Waffle House for 3 months.

So, in response to the challenge of "Go Full Throttle or Go Home", I'm going to choose to not show up at all. I'll stay home and watch Twilight instead...Robert Pattinson is such a hottieeee!!!!!!exclamation mark!!!!!

Energy Junkie's Full Throttle Coffee Energy Vanilla Review

For my three loyal readers, mom included, you're already aware that I'm over energy coffees like I'm over the "Obama Health Care Reform", Nickelback and being wildly unpopular with the opposite sex. I guess my biggest issue is that they're all pretty much the same. With the exception of Chai Hai (which is obviously tea, but part of the Java Monster line), I could pretty much do without energy coffees altogether. Full Throttle Coffee Vanilla is another carbon copy example of how coffee tastes when mixed with a little flavoring and served from an aluminum can. That's how exciting it is. Let me clarify, it's not bad, but do we need 25 varieties of the same thing? Not to mention, the same thing that I can pretty much recreate at home with a coffee maker, some milk, sugar and a bottle of flavoring syrup? The slogan of all energy coffees should be "A drink for middle-aged people too young to let go of their youth, swallow their pride and go to Starbucks, but too old to embrace a cocktail of prescription drugs for the problems their children have caused them and admit 19 year old girls secretly laugh at them when they try to look cool drinking Monster".

As previously noted, this drink tastes just like you'd expect. Creamy coffee with a shot of vanilla flavor syrup (yes, the exact same flavor syrup you can buy at almost any store that sells anything). The "product line" of almost all coffee energy drinks (Starbucks, Java Monster, Rockstar Roasted, and Full Throttle) are as different as "cream", "eggshell" and "light creamy eggshell". If you subjected me to a blind taste test to determine which flavor was which, and what comany made it, I'd fall asleep from boredom. When I woke up, I'd probably be very confused as to why I was blindfolded and my mouth tasted and smelled like old mozzarella cheese.

I have two other problems with coffee drinks, they short-change me 1fl. oz. of beverage, and the usually cost more. I know this is probably because of the price of milk, but I don't care, because I don't like the drinks that much anyway. That's like saying, "Your taxes are going to be higher so we can give you a health care program that you don't want anyway".

The more of these I'm subjected to, the lower the scores are going to be. I like coffee energy drinks less each time I drink one.