Game Juice Impact

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Game Juice Impact Retail Package Description

It appears from the label that Game Juice is powered with lightning...real lightning! Seriously, the label has some lightning on it, but is otherwise rather sparse on information. The boldest text on the back is a red header stating, "JUICE UP YOUR GAME! with IMPACT". Otherwise, the back reads, "Fueled with Flavor, Play Faster! Grab your Game Juice ^TM and get that great-tasting edge you need!" (and it's true, you need that edge to frag n00bs) There is also an inspiring graphic on the back of the bottle, which indicates that this drink has been awarded (presumably by some international council of online gamers, likely from South Korea) 5 of 5 blocks in the following areas: flavor, caffeine, taurine, and real sugar.

Caffeine Addict's Game Juice Impact Review

This isn't my favorite, and it's certainly not the worst I've had either. As far as gaming sodas go, I wouldn't begin to compare it to Bawls Guarana, but it's better than being a poser with Mountain Dew. Game Juice Impact commands about as much respect in the g4M3R community as: Mountain Breeze, Mountain Frost, Mountain Fury, Mountain Holler, Mountain Lightning, Mountain Lion, Mountain Maze, or Mountain Roar. Since all the aforementioned are blatant knockoffs of Mountain Dew, Game Juice Impact can only improve its rep by changing its name to Mountain Juice, which doesn't sound particularly appetizing, or Mountain Impact, which doesn't sound incredibly comfortable.

The drink is too flavor filled, even for me, and I love Carabao Energy Drink, which is essentially sugar paste. The drink tries hard, and has some redeeming qualities. For people who do like citrus sodas, I don't see the majority of them complaining about the flavor. I did feel relatively jacked after drinking it, probably in the ballpark equivalent of drinking a Jolt Cola. On the downside, the drink itself bears a strong visual resemblance to Hi-C Ecto Cooler, and the label came out looking way to much like the Beta box for Fred Savage's claim-to-fame "The Wizard", a Nintendo-based fantasy loosely akin in format and length to a watchable movie. This leaves Game Juice feeling more like an attempt to recapture an 80's-early 90's Nintendo market (the way Powell Peralta has attempted to recapture the 80's skate market with overpriced "vintage" Bones Brigade schwag sold in lavish department stores), instead of focusing on today's predominantly MMORPG and first-person-shooter gamers. Perhaps a scantily clad night elf dancing on a mailbox asking for gold, or a set of hands grasping a crowbar or chainsaw whilst sneaking up behind a camping n00b would have been more appropriate. Personally, I would have just tried to buy the name "Ecto Cooler" from Hi-C and started a marketing blitz with Ray Parker Jr., Huey Lewis and The News all forming together like an enormous Ecto-Cooler-spraying Voltron.

Energy Junkie's Game Juice Impact Review

Firstly, Game Juice is super sweet and made me sick to my stomach. It's overtly sweet, and I would compare the abdominal sensation to drinking a 16oz. Mello Yello followed by a 16oz. bottle of the now defunct Surge. Interestingly, if you are an enormous Mountain Dew Amp, Surge, or Mello Yello fan, you'd probably like Game Juice Impact. A more accurate description, for someone who's lived under a rock, and has no idea what a overtly sugary citrus soft drink tastes like, is that Game Juice Impact tastes like about 22 sour apple and lemon Jolly Rancher candies dissolved in a glass of slightly sweetened carbonated water. Apparently, at some point, you also add 5 blocks of caffeine, and taurine.

Otherwise, I like that this is marketed toward gamers. I fancy myself a gamer, having scored 129,310 in Double Dragon, 132,760 on Hudson's Adventure Island, and 316,550 in 3-D WorldRunner. But the really defining moment of my life was beating Blaster Master (with only one man), trumped only by a unprecedented trouncing of Super Mario Bros. 2 in 28 minutes.

At $2.33 (after shipping), this drink is not particularly a fantastic deal. Other than letting women around me know that I'm l337 and have mad 5k111Z, this drink is essentially useless to me. I'd write more, but I think I hear Deadly Towers calling.