Go Juice Energy Turbo-Charged Energy Drink

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Go Juice Energy Turbo-Charged Energy Drink Retail Package Description

This drink reminds me of Homestar Runner characters. It lacks the monochromatic nature of "Teen Girl Squad", but it's pretty fun. There's no motivational text that you might expect. No long-winded talks about being independent, and ceasing the day with the power of Go Juice. I think the bright clown colors say it all.

The only real text is to inform you that there's no fruit juice in this drink. Now, if only every Nicholas Cage movie came with a "Contains no entertainment" warning.

Caffeine Addict's Go Juice Energy Turbo-Charged Energy Drink Review

I believe Tammy Faye may have had a hand in designing this can, but this over-the-counter stuff isn't strong enough for Tammy Faye. In Tammy Faye's defense, there's no prescription strong enough to get the skank off Jessica Hahn. Now let's get the ghastly taste of Jessica Hahn out of our mouths by talking about the smooth cherry goodness of Go Juice. This tastes like a mix of Cherry Kool-Aid and red Chilly Willy, or if you grew up poorer than the people who got government hand-outs (AKA your tax dollars buying straight party democrat votes), Wyler's Cherry Charger Unsweetened Drink Mix and red Flav-O-Ice. It's also pretty carbonated.

All-in-all, Go Juice has a nice full bodied bouquet with a divergent guarana and cherry fragrance. The taste is something of a convivial mid-summer homecoming, a sumptuous mixture of high fructose corn syrup, natural and artificial flavors, d-glucuronolactone waltz on your tongue like Fred Astaire in a pair of Manolo Blahnik alligator boots. Redder than a Matisse bedroom, the Red 40 sets on your lips like you've siphoned 20W-50 from an oil tanker with 3" conduit. Overall I favor this energy drink's tenacity, refreshing enough to compliment a bag of flaming hot cheetos, or enjoyed as a pre-Ramen noodle aperitif.

This drink has a reasonable dose of caffeine, and taurine. There's even a little guarana mixed in for good measure. It's no Bawls IMHO, but it's pretty energizing for an 8ozish drink. Like many energy drinks, this one also contains ginseng, which I continue try to convince everyone that ginseng is teh suck. Just take it out, and shove more guarana in there, maybe a cracker jacks-like prize, or a dead mouse.

My only complaint with Go Juice, besides my lips looking like a common prostitute (Angelina Jolie/John Edwards) is the price. This is a pretty good drink, the website's retail price is $1.50 each, but after nearly $8 shipping, they come out to almost $2 each. I can't pony up that kind of dough; I've not got that kind of money. Perhaps the liberals should conjure up some sort of "Go Juice" food stamp to barter for some late teens-mid twenties straight party votes.

Energy Junkie's Go Juice Energy Turbo-Charged Energy Drink Review

This drink looks totally like a 70's flier for some gathering of random events. One of those deals where people come in gaudy tank top with bold stripes like tan and dark brown, tucked into cut-off short with the pockets hanging out the bottom of the legs. I can almost see some tall lanky guy with massive chest and back hair, gold-rimmed Magnum PI glasses, and green and yellow striped tube socks knocking one of these back, and chasing it with a "silver bullet". Go Juice is even more appealing when I think about said fictional man running the cold glistening can over his matted sweaty dog-like hair and extra cool headband.

Hold on, that's no fictional character, that's Jason playing blind water balloon volleyball. Oh I'm so embarrassed, I can hardly stand to watch after he lost to a 12 year old girl in the "milk chug" and tried to steal her trophy at the awards ceremony.

Go Juice tastes so good your face will thank you for drinking it. I think the Icee people may make it, cause it fruity and totally more delicious than Cherry Clan candies.

It's got some energy, I'll give it that. It's a hodgepodge of different energy ingredients. I'd focus on more caffeine. As we all learned with food coloring, putting in some of all the colors just makes everything black/brown/grayish. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but nothing about this can says black/brown/greyish. Pick a direction and go with it.

Nearly $2 for a 8oz drink? Maybe if it comes with ground affects. In the meantime, this drink doesn't so I've concluded that it's a ripoff.