Hardcore Energize Bullet Blue Rage

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Hardcore Energize Bullet Blue Rage Retail Package Description

The iSatori Hardcore Energize Bullet comes in quite a unique container. Whether it's a test tube or something a bit more stimulating is yet to be determined. On the top of the tube is a yellow band with black text that reads, "EXTREMELY POTENT: Read label before drinking. Must be 18 or older." Below the logo, there is text that states, "Works in Minutes; Lasts for Hours; No Jitters; No Crash". Above the Supplement Facts, "Shake. Open. Slam. Energize." After that, it states, "RECOMMENDED USE: For immediate and long-lasting energy, drink one vial per day with or without food. It's always a good idea to begin use with one-half of the suggested serving to assess your tolerance. DO NOT EXCEED MORE THAN ONE VIAL IN ANY 8-HOUR PERIOD." Adjacent to the recommended use is the warning, "WARNING: DO NOT USE IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DO NOT TAKE WITH ANY OTHER STIMULANT SUPPLEMENTS, CAFFEINATED BEVERAGES, OR PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION. DO NOT USE IF YOU ARE PREGNANT, NURSING, OR CONTEMPLATING PREGNANCY. Consult with your physician prior to use if you have any pre-existing medical conditions, including high blood pressure, thyroid problems, hyperthyroidism, asthma, nervous disorders, if you are using any MAO inhibitors, or suffer from migraines. Individuals who are sensitive to caffeine should begin use with one-half the recommended dosage and limit the use of other caffeine-containing foods and drinks while taking this product because too much caffeine may cause nervousness, irritability, and sleeplessness. Discontinue use if you experience dizziness, headache, nausea, or heart palpitations. If you have trouble sleeping, do not take withing 4 hours of bedtime. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease." It is also important to note that the container states that it is a "VIRTUALLY UNBREAKABLE CONTAINER (Patent Pending)". Surely, this must be tested! (ed. - This will definitely be tested, and don't call me Shirley)

Caffeine Addict's Hardcore Energize Bullet Blue Rage Review

After you've managed to acquire a "Hardcore Energize Bullet" that doesn't have a utility blade in it, you can take a moment to ROFL at its sophomoric branding and marketing. Appreciate that Hardcore Energize Bullet has all the elegance and savoir-faire of any 80's movie with "Bikini" in the title.

We took the following photos from Hardcore Energize Bullet's Myspace to help demonstrate.

Try OB new Super Mega Ultra absorbent. While you're at the store, pick up a box color to touch up your roots, Ric Flair.	This looks like a DVD box cover for (straight to DVD) feature film "Fast Cars, Faster Women" (NR) 54 min. runtime.
Hope that vile vial is filled with Chipotlaway, this Lambo owner's going to need it.	Shhh! Anything you say could only make this scenario more absurd.

This "happy meal" for married folks comes in a "virtually unbreakable container". A container which doesn't stand or store conveniently anywhere. It's almost as if storing and consuming this product wasn't even a consideration in package design.

The smell is utterly medicinal. The taste is surprisingly muted, for something with 300mg of caffeine. I guess you could say it has a very light berry flavor. I didn't taste the artificial sweetener flavor tsunami I often get from 2-3oz energy shots. I only got a fraction of the caffeine bitter aftertaste I'd expected from this much caffeine in this little of fluid.

I wasn't profoundly energized, and the lack of bitter aftertaste left me suspecting that we may have gotten some "stepped on" samples. To be clear, I've added about 100mg of powdered caffeine to about 4oz. of Hawaiian Punch and it tasted like a fruit flavored BC headache powder. 300mg in this 2.9fl oz. energy shot should taste like chewing a couple of Aspirin and washing it down with a thimble of blue liquid adultery.

From strictly an energy drink standpoint, this product is an absolute hoodwink. iSatori spends a lot of time and effort promoting their "unique packaging". Anyone who can process an innuendo as subtle as the "recording artist" Madonna's whorish behavior, probably knows what they're talking about. With that, and the utility blade tampering debacle in mind, all I can think about is the movie "Seven".

Energy Junkie's Hardcore Energize Bullet Blue Rage Review

After reading all of the warnings on the tube, I was a bit hesitant to chug the mysterious blue liquid in the non-conventional container. Luckily, I am not afflicted with any of the diseases and/or disorders outlined within the warning so a medical consultation was not required. Also due to my existing exposure to this new-fangled chemical known as caffeine, I decided to fore go the recommendation of only consuming half of the recommended dosage.

The previously mentioned non-conventional container merits discussion in and of itself. From a marketing perspective, it is certainly an attention grabber. While in the display, it definitely resembles a test tube with an alchemist's concoction inside. However, outside of the display it is a bit unwieldy. Due to the round bottom, your only option for an upright tube is to set it on it's lid, which also happens to be slightly rounded. Perhaps the bigger issue is that in the inverted upright position, it may look inappropriate to some passers-by. This may or may not be a selling point to some consumers.

I found the drink to be relatively good for an energy shot. I found the taste to be less medicinal than I had expected with the whopping 300mg of caffeine. It tastes a lot like Berry Blue Kool Aid. My only complaint with the taste comes from the artificial sweetener. Call me old fashioned, but I love sugar. The only reason that an artificial sweetener should be used is if all of the world's sugar supply becomes exhausted or everyone comes down with diabeetus like Wilford Brimley. If you want to make a sugar-free drink, more power to you but I need to have a similar sugar-filled variant.

For the sheer amount of caffeine in the drink, I must say that I was a bit underwhelmed. What I expected was to be bouncing off of the walls with a solid case of the energy jitters. What happened in reality was that I was awake and alert. While being awake and alert is not a bad thing, it is my standard state of being so the effectiveness of the Hardcore Energize Bullet was immeasurable. And when I say immeasurable I don't mean in the "it's way too much" way, I mean it in the "I couldn't tell any real difference" way. In the end, I must say that I found the container to be more hardcore than the beverage portion of Hardcore Energize Bullet.