Java Monster Coffee Loca Moca

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Java Monster Coffee Loca Moca Retail Package Description

Essentially the same rant about "getting out of line...and stepping up to what's next" which is featured on Java Monster Mean Bean, and the rest of the Java Monster line. This can is darker, indicating it's not as creamy, but since there's also a "Big Black", I'm guessing this is the middle of the road as far as coffee/cream mixture goes.


*Correction: Originally, we reported that Java Monster Energy Drinks contained 16 fluid oz. per can, the contents have been updated to the correct amount, 15 oz.

Caffeine Addict's Java Monster Coffee Loca Moca Review

It has a sleek aluminum exterior, gold trim, .47 liters, and produces an astonishing 0 break horsepower. It's a monster, and Al Gore would approve of its 0 greenhouse gas emissions, as long as you recycle the can. With all the style and flavor of an Italian cafe beverage, and a reasonable prescribed amount of energizing ingredients, Java Monster Loca Moca is sure to be all the rage at your next Country Club social gathering, scrap-booking party, or antiquing escapade. You'll initially be shunned by the majority of the group who will own Starbucks stock, but make up something outlandish like "Starbucks produces 4 billion tons of paper hand protecting drink cozies every day, which are force-fed to expecting mothers, who they don't believe should have the right to murder babies as a resolution to their sexual imprudence". After the hush surely falls over the crowd, you can suggest that Monster's offering comes in a completely recyclable aluminum container, and commence looking down upon everyone holding their Starbucks cozies of oppression.

At $2.19, this drink makes the often $2 9.5oz Starbuck's Frappuccino seem as ridiculous to buy as the immensely overpriced $2 8.3oz Red Bull Energy Drink. At nearly double the size, at least comparable (if not better) tasting, and vastly more energizing, this is hands down the industry leader in packaged ready-to-drink coffee drinks. It would seem that, based on user ratings (with the exception to the Monster XXL, which some other company is apparently trying to sabotage in our user ratings to make their drink look better) that Monster can do no wrong. IMHO, the Mean Bean at $2.19 is the industry standard, but for the coffee lover, this bolder flavor and perhaps the yet unreviewed Big Black will be the drinks of choice. My recommendation, buy this, Cafe Almond Biscotti, an Enzo Ferrari, and just spend the day enjoying the finer things in life.

Energy Junkie's Java Monster Coffee Loca Moca Review

Essentially, this boils down to a simple matter of taste. All other things are relatively equal in this line of drinks. We happened to also find this drink at Harris Teeter stores for $2.19, instead of the outlandish $2.79 that Exxon was extorting for the Mean Bean. We base our reviews on what we paid for the drink. Knowing we can get it for $2.19, I'd easily give the Mean Bean an extra 3-4 value points. That being said, the Loca Moca was well on its way to making a sound impression.

So, with the energy blend being as energizing as the Mean Bean, and the price being $.60 lower, the taste was the only variable for which we hadn't accounted. I'm delighted to report that the taste was even better for me than the Mean Bean. I'm very jacked about reviewing the Big Black now, as the darker the coffee flavor, the better.

This drink gets two oversized foam number 1 fingers up from me. As far as I'm concerned, it's time to step out of the Starbucks line, and step up to the Harris Teeter (or Food Lion) checkout line, and score a $2.19 homerun.