Monster Assault

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Monster Assault Retail Package Description

The Monster logo is a strong symbol which is used on each can and already well recognized. Assault stamped across the front of the can in a semi military confidential style along with the camouflage background makes me feel totally commando carrying this around.

Caffeine Addict's Monster Assault Review

"Assault" is a fitting name for this drink, as it's an all-out assault on the good name of Monster beverages. It tastes like President's Choice first attempt at making cherry cola using Vicks 44 Cherry Throat Spray. It's so thick and has a nasty after taste that will leave you begging your mouth for forgiveness. Without question, hands-down the worst of the Monster line of energy beverages. If I have my chronological order correct, this was the first release after the original and lo-carb, then came Monster Khaos, which I'd rate only a slight improvement over travesty. If you like bad tasting cherryish sodas that are thick like flat Dr. Pepper poured over War and Peace, this is your drink.

I gagged this down throughout the course of the day, so I can't speak many accolades for the energy either. The ingredients look about the same as what I'm now calling "The Good Monster Drinks", so I'd expect if you could somehow suppress your gag reflex long enough to chug it, you'd get similar results.

If this tasted good, the value would be the same as "The Good Monster Drinks", but since it tastes so bad, I might deduct a value point from every Monster product in tacit wrath for Monster Assaults horrific flavor.

Energy Junkie's Monster Assault Review

Monster Assault is the cola version of an energy drink for those people who really like the taste of Coke or Pepsi. We have reviewed cola like drinks in the past and it hasn't failed that I have not been pleased with any. There is no real exception to this since I didn't grow up drinking dark colas. They all taste horrible in my opinion and I was very upset that Monster had gone that route. Of course I assume that for many soda drinkers this is a fresh step in the direction they may want to go. For me it tasted like some mixture of generic red soda and cola.

I wasn't pleased with the taste at all and made the mistake of putting off drinking the rest until it got a too close to room temperature and became thick and flat. Since it took me all day to get anywhere near drinking the whole can I felt like I could drift off to sleep any time I blinked my eyes. The only exception was the times that I'd attempt to finish the soda and my taste buds were shocked at this flavor as well as my stomach which was severely displeased with my choice of drink. All day it rumbled in discontent and I had to resort to Gas X for the sake of my clients.

I finished most of the drink but maybe close to a quarter of it is left. I do feel like that should be plenty to be an adequate judge of the drink itself. I know it sounds bad but it wasn't really that terrible of a drink. I would have given it a higher score on value but I deducted the cost of the Gas X from it.