Monster Ubermonster Energy Brew

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Monster Ubermonster Energy Brew Retail Package Description

Monster Ubermonster Energy Brew comes in a big glass bottle with a difficult-to-open oversized non-twist-off cap. The bottle is green glass with the Energy family bird crest embossed into the glass on the neck. The label has the feel of a long-standing German brewery, with dragony creatures, crowns and whatnot. The detail in the label is impressive, and I think it has to be to command a $5 pricetag. On the label, two dragon/bird beasts with Monster-green-colored eyes hold up a gold banner that reads, "Energy Brew", on top of that sits a gold crown with a Monster-green-colored jewel in the center. The bird-like demon/dragon creatures are standing on another gold banner that reads "Ubermonster" (the U has the little dots over it, but that screws up my RSS feed, so deal with it). In the center is the Monster "M" claw. At the bottom, "Bio-Activated, Non-Alcoholic, Energy Supplement, 16.9FL. Oz. (500ml)".

You can always count on Monster Energy writing some mess on the back that's supposed to inspire me to believe I just bought some societal awesome points by choosing Monster. Ubermonster is no different. It reads, "Uber [oo-ber] From the German, meaning superior, above the norm, or the ultimate. UberMonster [oo-ber-mon-stir] The ultimate energy brew from Monster. Produced using proprietary German brewing technology. We "borrowed" a German brewing process which uses a special microbe to fermen malted barley. The resulted "Bio-Activated" energy brew has a clean, crisp, taste without the alcohol. No regular bottle could handle this evil energy brewski. So we designed our own with the biggest chugger friendly wide mouth we could make. The big ass cap is a little hard to pry off, but it's sorta like, if you can't open it you shouldn't be able to drink it! Cheers, This energy brew is for you!"

Caffeine Addict's Monster Ubermonster Energy Brew Review

Today we're reviewing the most expensive energy drink we've ever reviewed, the $5 Monster Ubermonster. Before I go into my standard tirade about where Monster dropped the ball, let me say, this is a excellent beverage. Price aside, it's a little bitter, but still smooth. It really taste brewed, how you might imagine a blend Heineken and Monster Import would taste. The package appearance is superb, and managed to catch my eye, even in the sea of Monster green "M" claws on the regular and import cans. I often encourage Monster to step out from their comfort zone in a meaningful way. Nitrous Monster tasted good, but otherwise seemed gimmicky. I commended the creative direction of Rehab, but assumed, like Java Monster, they would run it in the ground (which they're in the process of doing). I further commend this Ubermonster experiment. It's one of their best products, comparable to Dub Edition and the original green Monster.

My initial criticism seems like something that should have been addressed in R and D before this went to consumers. For beer drinkers, it may not seem unreasonable that this is not a twist off cap, for Monster's teen and pre-teen target market, who only drink American "beers" with twisty caps, this will be a frustrating revelation after dropping $5 at the corner convenience store. As if this weren't enough, I have a house full of bottle openers, none of which, due to the size of the cap, open this bottle anything resembling an expedient manner. You have to go around the whole top and pry it open, like a pimento cheese or chicken liver container. They jest about removing the cap being an exercise in futility in the flavor text on the back, but it almost seems like a poorly-contrived cover up for a bad idea. Like when you express your undying love for the soon-to-be-bride at a wedding rehearsal dinner, then try to laugh it off like it was a joke. Seriously Kelly, I was just joking, my brother's a great guy, and I'm sure you'll both live happily ever after.

The obvious complaint for the average consumer is the $5 price tag. If you're also gasping at the unforgivable price, consider that Ubermonster is only 6 cents more per ounce than Red Bull, a product we've been calling highway robbery for the better part of a decade.

For the bottle and can collectors this will, undoubtedly, be a highlight in any collection. If the $5 price tag and Ubername lead you to believe you're going to find an Iron Man-like limitless energy source, you'll be sorely disappointed, I didn't notice any difference from drinking a regular 16oz. Green Monster.

Energy Junkie's Monster Ubermonster Energy Brew Review

A $5 energy drink? By presenting this to me, screamingenergy.com just treated me more lavishly than my last date. The Ubermonster bottle is so awesome, I buy regular monster and pour it into the bottle. I'm like Santa Clause, if kids don't believe in me being awesome, I just lay at home and cry. So it's important I have the appearance of being awesome, even if it's at the price of my own self-respect, which I pretty much traded away permanently for Kesha tickets last summer.

Ubermonster is ok, I don't think it's as sweet as regular Monster, it doesn't seem as thick though. You can certainly still taste the core Monster flavor, this isn't a gigantic deviation from the norm. In my opinion, it tastes most like Monster Import.

Personally, I think "Bio-Activated" was an afterthought that they slapped on the label to make people think there was any reason to pay $5 for this. I have no idea why fermenting Monster, then having it be a non-alcoholic beverage makes very much sense. Additionally, trying to make an annoyingly-hard-to-open cap sound cool on the label is like calling your teacher a pedophile after you ran off with him and wrecked his family...Jordan Powers.