Pimpjuice Premium Anti-Oxidant Energy Drink

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Pimpjuice Premium Anti-Oxidant Energy Drink Retail Package Description

The Pimpjuice Anti-Oxidant Energy Drink can is very similar Original Pimpjuice (which, as of the time of this review is available for $19.98/24 case in our Energy Drink Store. The main difference is that this review is of the 16oz. can, which, mathematically, is roughly twice the size of the 8.3oz can. Also, there's a loverly (though questionably gay) purplish (dare I say, 'lavenderish') color at the bottom, where it the regular Pimpjuice is adorned with a tasteful gold wrapped area. The text on the front reads, "Pimpjuice Premium Anti-Oxidant / Energy Drink", the bullet points at the bottom read:
Proprietary Blend

  • Acai Juice
  • Grape Extract
  • Green Tea Extract
  • Pear Juice
  • Pomegranate Juice
  • Yerba Mate

The can continues with an enormous "Pj" with "Let it Loose" in classic impala font below. The backish area (not pictured) reads, "10% Real Fruit Juice", and lastly, "Fillmore St. Brewery St. Loius MO". Hold the phone, at the last second, I found some integral information written in the most impossible to read, metallic see-through lettering cut out of a white background that reads, "Serve Chilled".

Caffeine Addict's Pimpjuice Premium Anti-Oxidant Energy Drink Review

Purple Pimpjuice tastes really good. I personally enjoy the new V8 Pomegranate and Blueberry drink, so this is directly up my alley. This drink is refreshing and lightly carbonated. It is heavy laden with sugar, and can give you that post-Halloween sour stomach feeling.

This drink is energizing, and that's probably augmented by the speed with which I consumed it. I enjoy every ingredient in this drink (with the occasional exception of Acai, most noteably when Coca-Cola is involved, as in the case of Nature is One Bad Mother).

Original Pimpjuice is readily available in my area, but it's less common to find the Anti-Oxidant Energy. When you do find it, it will probably be around $2/each, and if you're a "buy one can every day at the convenience store so I can pretend I'm not an addict", instead of facing the truth, and buying by the case online or at Costco, like a dirty smoker buying their poison by the carton, you'll probably find this a reasonable value. On the other hand, once you give in and start bargain hunting, you'll find that your favorite energy drinks should be costing you $1-1.25 each. In the meantime, we'll continue to base our value rating on those people who are still in denial.

Energy Junkie's Pimpjuice Premium Anti-Oxidant Energy Drink Review

So, maybe your wife didn't have you out the door at 1AM on Black Friday getting ready to go trample defenseless department store employees to get a "great deal" on crap we wouldn't take for free any other day of the year. If that's the case, you're a lucky man, kiss your wife, tell her you love her, and remind her to get started on dinner. But, if for some reason, between now and next Thanksgiving your wife goes ring-of-power-caressing crazy, like the woman that pretended to be a 16 year old boy on myspace to get back at a 14 year old girl, you may want to have a can of Pimpjuice Premium Anti-Oxidant / Energy Drink handy to brave the 14 hour journey to Mordor (Walmart) and directly into the fires of Mount Doom (Sharper Image). Pimpjuice provides a refreshing grape/pear flavor sensation you can't help but enjoy chilled when it's 21 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and you're sitting on concrete with your back against a brick wall.

Sitting's not all you'll be doing either, because nothing spells Holiday spirit like 16oz. of drink, 62g of sugar, and 162mg of caffeine jammed into your shriveled bladder like too much candy stuffed into a child's Christmas stocking. And what of anti-oxidants? Oh, you'll need those too, because if you haven't already started drinking heavily and smoking by the time the store opens, rest assured, you'll be the only person in line not buying at least one of this season's Christmas presents with Camel cash. The good news is, Pimpjuice is so energizing, you'll be able to stay awake and enjoy all of the aforementioned, plus the hours of driving, waiting in line, family bickering, escalating credit card debt (blood pressure), and ridicule from your unmarried friends.

Overall, Pimpjuice is tastier than the $12 hot dog and beer from Frank and Stein that I enjoyed while being giggled at by a group of 13ish year old girls. It gives you a great deal more energy than the Fiber One bar your wife fishes out of the bottom of her purse after you warn that you may be going into a diabetic coma. As an added bonus, Pimpjuice won't evacuate your bowels like Superman ripping through your digest system. Lastly, Pimpjuice, at $1.99, is a far better value than a Apple iPod touch 32 GB at nearly $400. Come on people, you can get a Refurbished 80GB iPod Classic for half that.