Piranha Phunky Fruit Punch

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Piranha Phunky Fruit Punch Retail Package Description

Piranha Phunky Fruit Punch contains natural and artificial flavors. It's an EAS product that, "bites back with a high-intensity taurine energy blend". Also, they *warn* "One serving contains about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee" (look out, Piranha is getting crazy with the caffeine). The can portrays the human headed piranha skeleton that we've all come to know and love, and a nice sunrise-like red-to-yellow vertical fade.

Caffeine Addict's Piranha Phunky Fruit Punch Review

Like the Kiwi Watermelon variety of Piranha, this was thick. Piranha spares no expense in the way of sugar, if only they could replace some of that with caffeine. The best way to describe the taste is red Kool-Aid with about 1.5 of the suggested sugar, no particular flavor, any red will do. Because it's so thick, it's not at all refreshing, no matter how cold it is. This drink exhibits maple syrup qualities, in that I believe it may actually be thicker when it is cold (not normally the case with other thick sodas, such as Rockstar, or Full Throttle, which get more thick as they become warm). The only thing making me want to keep drinking this is the hint flavor of cigarettes. It took me a minute to place, but after some sipping, the ashtray flavor came shining through. I closed my eyes, and felt like I was at a cheap greasy spoon diner, with some woman named Flow calling me "hun", "baby", and "sugar", then screaming at the 400 lb. cook that she needs a "waffle on two". Oh, sweet past addictions.

Oh, I would call the energy contained in this can a slap in the face, but often a slap in the face will wake you up...this won't.

As for value, half the size of their other soda, for the same price, and even less energy, there's not a lot good to say. If you've bothered going to GNC, just get some energy bars, and some energy pills, and leave the Piranha behind.

Energy Junkie's Piranha Phunky Fruit Punch Review

The Phunky Fruit Punch makes me feel like a hippie. I want to call it Phunky Phish Phlavor. This didn't really have much of a specific taste to it, but I guess that's the meaning of fruit punch. This soda had sooooo much sugar in it, which I am not happy about at all. It totally gave me the hairy teeth. I used one of those Brush Up finger toothbrush like devices, but that didn't even get all the gunk out. It was also very carbonated, so after a few big sips my brain fizzled. Unfortunately, after a few big sips, it was gone.

The 16oz Kiwi Melon flavored Piranha was a good value at $1.49, but when you throw the same price at an 8oz can, its hard to think you got a deal. Especially considering how low the energy level was. If I wanted a cup of coffee's worth of caffeine, I would've drank a cup of coffee. It's cheaper and more convenient. They should market this to kids as the new Kool-Aid flavor.