Speed Stack Pumped N.O. Grape

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Speed Stack Pumped N.O. Grape Retail Package Description

This 22fl. oz. bottle comes with gripping grooves. The bottle is wrapped with a sticker that is mostly silver/gray. It's a capped beverage, which is convenient for "on-the-go" people. The label is accented with a pixelated purple design on the front. The top left of the bottle (if you consider the side featuring the product name the "front") shows the ABB (American Body Building) logo, which is a strange muscular chicken-type creature. Under the power chicken is the word "Grape", which is printed in white on a purple background. The name is prominent and vertically oriented on the bottle, "Speed Stack" in white with black outline, "Pumped N.O." in black with white outline, and "Energized Pump-Activated Supplement * Zero Sugar" in a much smaller font, but also in black with white outline. On the right side of the bottle is another copy of the "Mega-Ultra Chicken" logo, under which is a great deal of text that I'm increasingly uninterested in, "Speed Stack Pumped N.O.".

What You Need

Powerful "Pumps"
Heightened Alertness
Nitric Oxide Boost
Minimal Carbs and Calories

What It's Got

3g of arginine from l-arginine and A-AKG
300mg of caffeine
1g of taurine
5g of glycerol

Per bottle (2 servings)

On the back, "Speed Stack Pumped N.O." (which appears almost everywhere on the bottle), "Recommended Use: For Pre-Workout Energy: Begin drinking one half (1/2) bottle of Speed Stack Pumped N.O. approximately 20 minutes prior to exercise. For Daily Energy: Consume one half (1/2) bottle of Speed Stack Pumped N.O. prior to or between means, one (1) to three (3) times per day." (Yes, the numbers were printed on the bottle in parenthesis next to the spelled out number/fraction).

"Total caffeine from all sources is 150mg per serving", "Shake well before use", "Store in cool, dry place", "Refrigerate after opening", "Tamper evident – purchase only if seal is intact".

Caffeine Addict's Speed Stack Pumped N.O. Grape Review

I immediately wanted to hate ABB Speed Stack Pumped N.O. All the references to "pumped" and "pump" made me feel like I was the odd man out on an inside joke with sexual undertones. Everything about the packaging and verbiage on the bottle made me feel like I should order some TapouT "Expression of Combat" apparel and start juicing up like Roger Clemens. In addition, I've had some other "pre-workout" drinks that were so bad, we didn't bother to review them or even try to gag them down.

Needless to say, I was less than optimistic when I opened Speed Stack Pumped N.O. Grape. The aroma was the beginning of my conversion, this drink smells delicious, like the purple Dimetapp (which I call grape Dimetapp). As a child, I always hoped I'd get just sick enough for purple Dimetapp (the best tasting medicine ever), and not so sick I would need Robitussin DM (the worst tasting medicine ever). So, fortunately for me, the similarities with Dimetapp didn't end with the smell, Speed Stack Pumped N.O. tastes like a less syrupy version of purple Dimetapp. With only 15 calories per serving, it's surprisingly sweet, without the overt chemical taste.

Speed Stack Pumped is sweetened with sucralose, and has 0g of sugar. With 300mg of caffeine, 30 calories and 0g of sugar, you'll be hard-pressed to find a stronger, tastier day-to-day or pre-workout energy drink. I'm not sure what the other health considerations would be, but if you're diabetic, you may want to check with your physician to see if this would be reasonable lo-carb dietary supplement for you.

So far, Speed Stack Pumped has chalked up 2 for 2 with taste and energizing ingredients. We all know that traditionally these "workout drinks" cost a fortune, because they are selling you the dream of six-pack abs, and women that don't point at you and laugh in public. While Speed Stack Pumped may be selling you those "Say, Say, Say"-like snake oil dreams, they are doing it at a reasonable price. The MSRP for 22fl. oz. bottles is $2.75, but we found Speed Stack Pumped for less than $2.00 with free shipping.

You may look like a total douche to the general public drinking it, but I say it's worth it.

Energy Junkie's Speed Stack Pumped N.O. Grape Review

I like that Speed Stack Pumped comes in a bottle, and an enormous bottle to boot. In addition, I like the grooves in the bottle, so if the 300mg of caffeine gives you the shakes, you don't drop your bottle while "Pumping out Reps".

Speaking of 300mg of caffeine, Speed Stack Pumped got me so jacked, I was able to play Magic the Gathering for 14 straight hours. At any point, I felt like the slightest thing could have set me off to jump across a table and punch someone squarely in the face.

Fortunately, I'd not had any Speed Stack Pumped when my girlfriend's other boyfriend texted her while I was helping her get her keys (and phone) out of her locked car. I may have been upset enough to blog about our strict, "exclusive dating" policy.

My doctor friend told me that nitrcic acid is good for the romantic times. So maybe since this other guy looks like a juice head, he's just sauced up on Speed Stack Pumped, and is just using her for carnal relations. Either way, I'm instilled with a great deal of confidence that she was indeed interested in joining a gym "to live a more healthy/active lifestyle" and not "try to feel 'desireable' while being gawked at/gawking at other egomaniacs, and eventually whoring herself out to someone who 'understands her better'".

In addition to ruining relationships, it also has a tolerable taste. It's thick, and left me feeling like I had a residue on my teeth. I didn't find it "thirst quenching" at all, but by the time I drank it, it wasn't cold anymore. It's quite possible that it being room temperature was half (1/2) my issue with the taste.

Even with the 22oz., I think the $2.75 suggested retail price is a little high. I mean, I can almost get a Wendy's value meal for that price. We were able to get this for around $2, and at that price, I'd call Speed Stack Pumped "a steal".