True Colors Original Enhanced Energy Beverage

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

True Colors Original Enhanced Energy Beverage Retail Package Description

True Colors Original Enhanced Energy Beverage comes in a black can wearing a skirt that looks like a pattern of 1-bit digitized flames. The can on the back in nearly illegible, since it's white text over those silver dots. The front looks like an old Kodak film package, or something I've seen on 70's LPs and can't remember. The front text is an a Verdana-like font, "True" in white, "Colors" in blue green and red, "Original" in silver and "Enhanced Energy Beverage" in white. The back is just the ingredients and nutritional facts, with the exceptions of "Live Life in Color"...which isn't in color, and "Naturally Flavored" in white.

Caffeine Addict's True Colors Original Enhanced Energy Beverage Review

Sorry for the delay in the reviews, but because of some hurtful messages and comments, mostly calling me a backwoods Forrest-Gump-sounding inbred hillbilly animal lover, I fell into a bit of a depression which lead to a hiatus from reviewing, bathing and shaving, resulting in 4 disappointed subscribers, BO that's worse than usual, and the beginnings of a fine Grizzly Adams beard.

To complicate matters, last Sunday was my birthday...thanks for the card by the way...but 1 of my 3 friends bought me some energy drinks. If gift price is any indication of the strength of the relationship, which both of my past girlfriends assured me it is, this 60 cent energy drink will be a constant reminder of a great girlfriend, a better cousin and the version of Lady Gaga that we had in the 80s.

Since this drink is well under a dollar, and most of the drinks that are sent to us are discontinued before they get reviewed anyway, we decided to do a series on value drinks. Truthfully, it's more of a commentary on what the price point of energy drinks should be.

Let's start with the name, "True Colors Original Enhanced Energy Beverage". You can take "original" right out, unless you consider all 200 acceptable Red Bull clones "original". Churching up the name with "beverage" is like Miller High Life calling itself the "champagne of beers". Lastly, "enhanced"? With what, burnt sugar? Because that's the only ingredient in True Colors that doesn't appear in 90% of energy products. I think a more fitting name would be "Red, Silver, Blue and Yellow Tolerable Generic Energy Drink", but I would have called it "Deep Water", because its comparably cheap and ineffective as the Magic common by that name which most people would trade for a basic land.

What's the point of the commentary? It's a 60 cent drink that sucks. At first glance yes, everything is in order, but the taste is comparable to Red Bull, which people buy by the truckload for $2. But we said it's ineffective? True, but we've been on our soapbox with the same message about an 8.3oz Red Bull since 2005. This drink is 12oz., so whatever it lacks in energy, it makes up for in being about 50% larger than Red Bull. If you're doing the math, that's a 12oz. slightly nerfed Red Bull for 60 cents. While I don't much care for Red Bull, and less for Red Bull clones, I'm willing to put those differences aside when this drink, oz. for oz. costs the same as a regular Coca-Cola from the drink machine outside the store.

Energy Junkie's True Colors Original Enhanced Energy Beverage Review

It's hard to say good things about a 60 cent energy drink, on the other hand, it's hard to say bad things. At 60 cents, True Colors is an exceptional value for Red Bull lovers. My biggest issue with Red Bull has always been price. Additionally, I don't think the drink is exceptional in any way, and I argue anyone who's had what we reviewed as "Real Red Bull", will be less impressed with American Red Bull. True Colors tastes mostly like Red Bull, there's some unidentified "background noise" flavor (which we assume has something to do with the burnt sugar referenced in the ingredients) that isn't completely unpleasant, but it's distracting and would taste more like Red Bull without it.

We must face facts, for whatever reason, people buy Red Bull...those people should stop doing that. If you are one of those people, save yourself $1.40/day, and get 4 more ounces of drink by switching to this mess. Go to Big Lots, fill up the cart and stop wasting money on Red Bull.

Is this drink every going to be a C-store success? Probably not, maybe at 60 cents, but I'm imagining that profits, if there are any, are razor thin at that price. Price this at $1.49-$2, it just falls right into that indistinguishable sea of energy drink chaff. This drink is 100% value, nothing else makes it worth buying, even at $1/can, it starts to fall apart as a product we would recommend.

Because the product packaging has a "retro" look, and currently almost no one has heard of True Colors, hipsters should love it, unfortunately for PriLabs, Inc., makers of True Colors, other hipsters liking it means all hipsters "used to like it before everyone else did".