Upshot FRUIT

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Upshot FRUIT Retail Package Description

Shake me, drink me. (Mighty pushy for a little guy). The bottle is mostly red with some arrows going to and fro. "More power, less liquid". The bottle goes on to say, "Upshot rapidly delivers a more powerful, longer lasting energy boost in one convenient shot. FRUIT blends plant extracts rich in natural CAFFEINE and other energy-producing alkaloids with tropical fruits. Drink it straight or mix it with juice. Not recommended for people sensitive to caffeine.

Caffeine Addict's Upshot FRUIT Review

Upshot made me feel sick, and not in a good way. I felt nauseous like the first time I ate hummus thinking it was cheese, and not a tasteless mush of chickpea bi-product. Upshot FRUIT (not sure what the all-caps whenever referencing "fruit" is all about, but "DRINKS THAT WORK" also finds it necessary to all-caps their name as well) tastes nothing like fruit. I think "Upshot TASTES LIKE SWALLOWING YOUR OWN VOMIT" would be a more fitting name, but this might adversely affect sales. By the same token "SCOOPS UP FLAVORLESS POTTAGE" wouldn't help sell pita bread, but might help sell paper towels.

Other than wanting to projectile vomit on Barbara Walters, which Upshot was about 50% responsible for, I was feeling pretty good. After about a 3 hour journey into "The Spirit World", I was able to feel the back of my head and feet again. Janis Joplin encouraged me to stop kicking the penguin, and have some delicious tan paste spread over pita bread. With a hummus armistice on the horizon, I agreed, but just as I reached for my tasty hippie treat, Mama Cass inhaled and subsequently choked to second death on a combination of pita bread, hummus, and a ham sandwich (aka the broodwich).

What the...it's Bobby Ewing...but he's dead. It...it must have all been a dream.

Energizing, and not too expensive, but tastes like torment.

Energy Junkie's Upshot FRUIT Review

Without question, most over-the-counter cough medicines mixed with strychnine taste better than upshot energy. Before you pass judgment though, upshot energy does have a heaping helping for caffeine for your stupid face. 200mg to be exact, not only close to the highest caffeine content you can get in a bottle, but also very near the highest caffeine per ounce of anything on the market. With caffeine like that, who needs taste?

This stuff makes you feel like Jason Statham in "Crank". At no point did I ride a motorcycle on sidewalks in a hospital gown, despite my best efforts, I was unable to locate a hospital gown.

This drink is circa $2. A standard cup of espresso has about 80mg of caffeine, tastes equally as nasty, and costs more. Your mom has no caffeine, tastes like cigarettes, and costs significantly less. Point being, upshot is cost effective and very energizing, espresso is for rich people that pretend it tastes good, and your mom is cheap, tired, and nasty.