5-Hour Energy Lemon Lime

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

5-Hour Energy Lemon Lime Retail Package Description

Well, not really a bottle, more of a little vile. Very colorful little bottle, with some guy running through the mountains like he's one of those crazy Ultra Runners rounding his 45th mile in a 50 mile run knowing he probably lost at least one toenail about 30 miles back. They boldly claim 5 hours of energy now, no crash, sugar free, and 0 carbs.

Caffeine Addict's 5-Hour Energy Lemon Lime Review

Firstly, "5-Hour Energy" is no longer "Chaser 5-Hour Energy". I think the lemon-lime tastes significantly better than the original Chaser 5-hour Energy Shot. It's pretty tart, and goes down a little gritty, but this doesn?t detract from the overall experience, and it's certainly worth overlooking since after the fact, you'll feel like you downed a handful of dexies. The bottle does explicitly indicate that I should drink the contents of the package, so that ruled out snorting or injecting it.



This is really energizing, the caffeine content is listed as about the same as a cup of coffee, but since it's condensed to 2oz. and you drink it in about 8 seconds (not the Luke Perry movie), you get the rush pretty fast.



This drink is so energizing that after you drink it, you're transported for exactly 5 hours to a land of rainbows and kittens, where everything but you moves in quasi-slow-motion. This gives you twice as long to laugh at the kittens covering up their biological waste with rainbow sand and gravel. You get to run around like Mario on star, and bulldoze over everything, collecting coins, laying waste to hammer brothers, and rescuing the princess, who is always in another castle. If you don't find the princess within 5 hours, your parents will be very disappointed. You will likely have to go to your room, and think about what you've done.



I was unable to find the princess, which gave me a chance to write this review while thinking about what I've done. So far I've come up with this.



(Extra Cool) Things I've done:

5-Hour energy is now available fairly readily at $2.50, down sharply from the $2.99 of the original blend. It's a pretty good value for those who need quick energy on the go. Being a person that can't pee in public, this is great for ballgames, movies, fishing tournaments, riots, or catholic weddings; any place you'll likely be for a while, and may ultimately result in your being shoulder-to-shoulder with another dude at a trough-like urinal.

Energy Junkie's 5-Hour Energy Lemon Lime Review

My last experience with a Chaser product ended badly. You may recall my review for Chaser 5-hour Energy Shot which gave me hot flashes and made me feel like I might throw up a hippie. Fortunately Lemon Lime flavored 5 hour Energy tasted much better. It was extremely sweet and tart which is really how I think anything titled lemon lime should taste.



I felt slightly energized, but no where near the extent of Berry flavored 5-hour Energy Shot. I was expecting a similar experience as I'd had with Berry Energy and cleared my schedule for 5 full hours of shaking, running in circles and itching compulsively and was disappointed when I considered taking a nap about an hour later. The folks at Chaser probably got into some sort of trouble and totally nerfed the formula to this new pansy one which, though it tasted better, did not really get the job done in the energy department which seriously downs the value of the product.



The bottle does explain why my skin was so blotchy and red in Chaser 5-hour Energy Shot review calling it a 'niacin flush'. Which is apparently when the niacin increases the blood flow near the surface of the skin. If you believe that look around you quickly because you may see the Men In Black car pulling away somewhere in a rush because they just zapped you with their memory zapper and made up this silly story.