Crunk Citrus

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Crunk Citrus Retail Package Description

The lively yellow, green and black can is highly similar in design to the Crunk and Crunk Berry cans. The text is primarily the same as well. The back of this can states, "For Crunk!!! Events, Promo's and News Text "Energy" to CRUNK(27865) or visit their website". I don't know if this is free, or if "Promo" should be made plural with an apostrophe and 's', or if just the 's' will suffice.

Caffeine Addict's Crunk Citrus Review

I think Crunk Citrus tastes something akin to a mixture of Mountain Dew and Wink (a not-so-mainstream tart citrus drink, usually available in 2-liters). Since these are two of my favorite "standard" (non-energy) sodas, that makes this one of my favorite energy drink flavors. I love the taste of Crunk Citrus like Tom Cruise loves talking about himself.

With a highly affective blend of energizing/arousing ingredients, Crunk Citrus can "be my wingman anytime".

If LRH secretly formulated this energy drink, and you asked Tom Cruise to describe it, I think it would sound something like this, "Crunk understands the responsibility it has to its consumers, when it sees a person thirsty and unenergized, it knows it has to stop and do something, because it's the only drink that can. People are depending on Crunk. World leaders and leaders in every area of science, society, government, finance, farming, fantasy card games and widdling; they're all looking for energy, and they welcome the energy that Crunk will give them with open arms. I'm awesome, and I drink Crunk because it's awesome, because I drink it, which makes it awesome. I LOVE THIS ENERGY DRINK! It's magnificent. We go scuba diving together. It likes all the stuff that I love to do, it's funny and smart. You don't know anything about the history of psychology, Crunk does!"

Even with all the the complimentary things my imaginary Tom Cruise has to say about Crunk Citrus, you can grab hold of one for only $1.79...show me the money. Do you love Crunk Energy? I love Crunk Energy! SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Thanks to the fake Tom Cruise for his endorsement of Crunk Citrus, and let's collectively pray that the we want have to hear more mindless drivel from the real Tom Cruise...and that he won't make another Mission Impossible movie...or any other movie.

Energy Junkie's Crunk Citrus Review

I think the whole Crunk line is genius. I enjoy every flavor, and every member of the Crunk product line delivers on its promises.

So, I believe, to say that Crunk Citrus is my favorite is saying a lot. Superlatives like "best" and "worst" really help separate the overachievers from the rest of the pack. Like, "among all the dirty politicians I've disagreed with for years, whom I believe to have fathered children and misused campaign funds to cover up the affair and the child, meanwhile promising to marry his partner-in-crime after his wife died, I think Jon Edwards is the worst...Ted Kennedy is probably a close second" or "Among all the founding fathers that I believe would vehemently disagree with political agendas that increase the American people's dependence on the government, I like Thomas Jefferson the best."

Crunk tastes light and refreshing, like a generously carbonated lemonade. It's tart, flavorful, and served iced-cold, it goes down so smoothly, the only disappointment you'll likely experience is that it's gone so quickly. Even with 29g of sugar per serving (more than Monster) this drink doesn't seem thick and syrupy at all, then, I've never let one sit and get warm, which could change things.

As with all the Crunk drinks, I believe this drink energizes, stimulates, arouses, refreshes invigorates and replenishes. 100% of the claims on the rim of the can are satisfied.

I acquired Crunk Citrus at a local gas station for $1.79, which I feel is reasonable for a tasty 16oz. beverage that provides a good deal of energy. I have no suggestion for improving this product. While the price could always be lower, compared to its competitors, I think Crunk Citrus is an exceptional value, and on two occasions in the same day, it was my drink of choice over many other popular brands.