Monster Mixxd Energy Juice

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Monster Mixxd Energy Juice Retail Package Description

Pretty much the same ho-hum MMORPG UI layout can design as Monster Khaos. Only the big "M" and name "Mixxd" are in purple, which is slightly misleading, as I thought this was going to taste more like grape. Here's the motivational speech Monster added to the back, I'll try to contain my comments until the end, "It's midnight Wednesday and the house party is about to go off. Everyone is jacked-up on the latest batch of jungle juice cooking in the kettle. Bring back any memories? How can a little bit of everything taste so good and work so [expletive removed] quick. That's kinda what we were thinking when we came-up with Monster Mixxd. We took a bunch of our back-up flavors, tossed'em together...F-NA it's a masterpiece. Monster Mixxd has a juiced-up flavor you can't describe and a creeper buzz you won't deny. Don't take our word for it. Check it out yourself. If you don't like Mixxd, you can have your money back. Limit one refund per customer. 30% juice-100% Monster!" Firstly, let me say that I believe this marks the beginning of the fall of Monster, I'll go more into detail on my (Jason's) full review, but let me make a few things clear. Firstly, as wild and crazy as everyone wants to make college sound, the people "house partying" on Wednesday are usually back home with mom and dad after 3 weeks. Also, "cooking in the kettle?" Yeah, grandma gave me her stove top whistle kettle when I went away to college. I can imagine it now, "Come on back here guys, I'm just brewing up a 6 cup batch of jungle juice here in the kitchen, hope you brought 3 tea bags". Monster also asks, "How can a little bit of everything taste so good?" I think the fact that it's probably about 120 proof would debilitate anyone present from remembering how it tasted. I know what does bring back memories though, every outbreak of genital herpes.

Caffeine Addict's Monster Mixxd Energy Juice Review

Why is this "the beginning of the end" for Monster, you say? Well, Mixxd is like a bad joke, couple that with another 4 new flavors, developed and distributed before a great deal of the populous really even noticed your last 4 existed, and you're looking at total market saturation, and product cannibalization. Though a large market for coffee drinkers still exists, instead of doing some marketing to stealing Starbuck's customers away with the four energizing, tasty, and affordable Java Monster products they already offer, Monster decided the flood the market with 4 more flavors. Worse yet, the website's marketing drivel is all "edgy" lingo that just sounds ridiculous. "Tea with sack not bags"? Is that supposed to be funny? Also, they hype adding "shots of liquor to Java Monster", then go right on to say they took out the alcohol, that's real edgy. It's as pathetic as the 35 year-old recently separated woman at work getting giddy because there's going to be a 2 drink open bar at the company Christmas party. Monster, after years of success otherwise, is going the way of marketing gimmicks, and as a result, are themselves opening the door for up-and-comers like Amp and Jolt.

So, for those who are still with me, what do I think of Mixxd? Well, it?s a hodgepodge of flavors, and it's not that great. If you're looking for cheap "party drink" flavor, just add the Monster energy blend to Tahitian Treat and call it "James Cooks Tahitian Typhus". If You're Full Throttle, and you're batting this idea around, you can add some obscure Polynesian fruit, like noni, and expect the American palate will find it pleasing. Mixxd is drinkable, but by no means would I call it enjoyable.

For $1.99, you can make a whole batch of actual jungle juice, and spread diseases amongst yourselves like 18th century Tahitian prostitutes. On a constructive note, I'd recommend staying away from any drink "mixxd" in a bathtub, and any party with sorostitutes. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Energy Junkie's Monster Mixxd Energy Juice Review

Ok, before anyone else comments that all Monster energy drinks have the same proprietary energy blend, and such should all get equal energy ratings, let me clarify, for anyone who would not have determined this on their own, we are not scientist. We don't do a chemical breakdown on what's in the drink, and make a determination on how energized you should be after drinking it. We drink it, and offer a real-world report on how it works. Obviously, if it takes me 7 minutes to drink a pleasant tasting original Monster, and it takes me 4 hours to choke down a deplorable Monster Assault, I'm not going to be as profoundly affected by Monster Assault. That being said, the taste is the only pleasant thing about Monster Mixxd, and it's so syrupy, I felt nauseous if I tried to drink it too quickly. Monster indicates that the flavor is elusive because it's thousand, if not millions of different flavors jumbled together. Well, I've solved the mystery, it tastes like spiced apple cider with a hint of grape juice. It's pleasant, but I'm wanting to warm it up in grandma's kettle (that she gave me as a "parting for college" gift) and sip it next to the fire while opening Christmas presents. This is slightly more subdued than the wild house party mixer that Monster conveys in their can text.

All told, I drank this over the course of two days. Near the end it became a chore. I'd compare this to eating a family-sized bag of gummy worms, they're enjoyable at first, but after a while, you realize you're only eating them because they're there, and you can't bring yourself to throw them away.

For once, I think I found a drink that would be better distributed in 8.3oz cans. Everything else about this drink is ridiculous, the marketing is like talking to a 15 year old kid that heard some "buzzwords" and is trying to fabricate some story about this really cool party he went to, where he "got stupid crunk" and his story fades out into some incoherent mumbling about "Superman", where he hopes you'll chime in, and he can determine what he thinks he's talking about. I'm reminded of a wonderful bit in the "Powell Peralta Search for Animal Chin Video", watch in amazement.