Super Donkey Kick

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Super Donkey Kick Retail Package Description

Super Donkey Kick Energy Drink comes in a 16oz. Can that is black and yellow, primarily, with a blue strip around the top. The top rim of the can reads, "120mg caffeine, Inositol, Taurine, B Vitamins". The front features a very angry donkey in a gi, who, I expect, is kicking you in the face with his massive hoof. The drink name reads, "Super Donkey Kick" in a pretty fun font. The whole label is rather pixelated, like you doubled the size of a GIF and printed it on a 1996 HP inkjet. At the bottom, "Energy Drink" and "16 FL OZ (473ml)". Then, moving on to the back, "Kicks Up Performance", "Kicks Up Concentration", "Kicks Up Endurance", "Kicks Up Metabolism", "Punch Up Reaction Speed with a Kick of Caffeine".

I think it's worth noting that donkey-kick.com, the url listed on the can, goes to QuickTrip. drinkthedonkey.com goes to the non-super version of Donkey Kick.

Caffeine Addict's Super Donkey Kick Review

Every now again in the energy drink industry, a product comes along that commands attention. Super Donkey Kick is one of those products. With all the sheep following the herd of Red Bull clones, both in formulation and marketing, it's great to see a lone wolf in their midst. Admittedly, it's a sad state of affairs when I'm commending a product for simply copying the formula of the second most popular drink instead of the first, but there are very few Monster clones, particularly compared to Red Bull. The real genius though, is the branding. No "red" this or "red" that, no boring "traditionally energetic" animals. Super Donkey Kick combines the word "super", with the ever-present fear of vicious animal attacks. I can't think of anything more energizing.

I've mentioned that Super Donkey Kong is a functional clone of Monster, I'd describe its tastes as about 90 percent Monster and 8 percent Mountain Dew and 2 percent super. I think it tastes great, but it's too thick to be thirst quenching to me. Many per-pubescent teens agree, sugar tastes great, so I can't imagine any Monster fans having a complaint with this containing 2 extra grams of sugar per serving.

Comparing this drink to Monster, I can't really tell a difference in the the resulting alertness, or inclination to engage in physically taxing activities. The nutritional information could almost be described as a best guess at Monster's proprietary formula.

I like to see an energy drink brand not take itself too seriously. The angry gi-suited Donkey on the can and ridiculous name remind me of some of the Asian energy drinks I enjoy so much, like Super Lion and Commando Bear (which also contain inane amounts of sugar).

Super Donkey Punch is available in my area 2/$3. Monster is often available at the same price. Monster is an excellent product, so I can't really urge you to buy this drink instead. But, if you spend the majority of your day trying to be "the first to discover this or that", or insist that anything mainstream is stupid because you hope it will command attention from someone (which it won't), or you're simply amused by the angry donkey, then this may be the drink for you.

Energy Junkie's Super Donkey Kick Review

Super Donkey Kick Energy Drink is one of the scantestly informative cans of all time. The only information about where it came from is a tiny "NPG, Tulsa OK" on the back. Upon further research, I found out that NPG are the 3 letters most frequently coupled with "distributor" in the entirety of the universe. I think it means, "distributor" in Chinese. So, I guess Quicktrip is the only place to get these, and if you want information about the drink, you can go try to strain some out on the toilet.

Most other information on the internet seems uninformative at best. One review states that it tastes like candy, well it has more sugar than a Snickers bar, so I think candy is a reasonable comparison, but doesn't tell you a lot about the flavor. Another review states that it, "tastes like stale bubble gum mixed with an ambiguous metallic citrus flavor". To me, recognizing that this tastes like Monster is as difficult as falling down icy stairs with soapy feet. I like Monster, so I like Super Donkey Kick. About 99.97% of people who are going to read a review of an obscure energy drink, have had regular green Monster. It seems sufficient to describe this drink as "like Monster"...in every way.

If you like Monster, and it comes down to price, buy the cheaper one. It's that simple.

Otherwise, I am amused/bemused by the Super Donkey Kick can. I think it's an excellent product, not sure how the donkey is less threatening to the health of kids than Joe Camel, then again, I think Joe Camel was about 4% as the anti-smoking ads they ingeniously created to effectively get kids to start smoking. I'm going to do QuickTrip a favor, and recommend that kids not buy this drink. I have no scientific evidence to back this up, and the following is a complete fabrication, but it's dangerous, you'll probably get seriously injured, only the "bad kids" drink Super Donkey Kick, and Super Donkey Kick is a gateway drug.