Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee Cinnamon Dulce

A Fair & Honest Energy Drink Review

Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee Cinnamon Dulce Retail Package Description

The can for Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee Cinnamon Dulce is like all the other Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee drinks. Nothing new and exciting here. The rim of the can reads, "Cinnamon Dulce with other natural flavors". Also, "Guarana" (tisk, tisk says the sophomoric attempt at television commercials from 5 Hour Energy), "Ginseng" (aka placebo), "B Vitamins". "Premium Energy Coffee Drink 15Fl Oz. (443 mL)". On the back, they're written crap as well, "Starbucks doubleshot Energy Plus Coffee Your Extra Shot, Latin Style. Starbucks DoubleShot (circle around an R) Energy Plus Coffee Cinnamon Dulce. A mighty brew inspired by traditional Latino beverages. A hit of coffee, vanilla, cinnamon and spice, supercharged with B vitamins, guarana" (tisk tisk) "and ginseng to keep you going. Are you ready for more?". The answer to that last question, quite frankly, is "yes".

Caffeine Addict's Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee Cinnamon Dulce Review

This is pretty much the same as every other coffee energy drink. While flying under the "Java Monster" brand, despite it being a tea, Chai Hai is the only really original offering in the brewed energy market since the first release of the drinkable canned coffee energy drink, the first 3 Java Monster flavors. I say drinkable, as the original doubleshot has been around for years, and was as enjoyable as a viscous blend of chalk, motor oil and rusty bits.

While I sang the praises of the original 3 Java Monster flavors, and was pleased with the Chai Hai concoction, I've pretty much been disenfranchised about every other brand/flavor to hit the market. In fact, interest is so low in our office, that no one wants to buy then, drink them or review them. So, I reiterate, this is pretty much the same as all the others. Coffee in 200 calories, 3g of fat, and 33g of carbs. It's thick, like almost all the other coffee drinks, with the notable exception of Java Monster Lo-Ball, which is still probably the best energy coffee on the market. I don't find Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee Cinnamon Dulce thirst quenching, and at times I felt like I was drinking cinnamon donut batter (as appetizing as that sounds, my stomach was displeased with this characteristic).

It's not all bad, if you like all the other coffee drinks, which is true for me less each day, you'll probably like this one...because it's the same. If you just "LOVE STARBUCKS! LIKE OMG, YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND!", and that's the fullest extent to which you can express yourself about any subject, this drink is absolutely for you. In fact, it's probably accurate to say that they made it with you in mind, and quite literally, you and your BFFs are probably the only reason this drink exists. This is as energizing as the other flavors, or regular coffee, for that matter.

It would be nice to see another original idea in the market. DynaPep has the new energy microshots, and that's about the only new positive/innovative energy liquid trend in the past year-and-a-half. The only other emerging trend is the "healthy energy pyramid/membership auto-renewal schemes" represented by Efusion (yes, I've heard of it and have samples, please stop emailing me about it and your "exclusive distribution" offers which will make me a fortune), Verve, and FRS. The sad part is that all of these are reasonable products, and I think a genuinely health-focused energy product has a place in the market, but tacking Amway distribution ideals onto them just makes them all look gimmicky.

Energy Junkie's Starbucks doubleshot Energy plus Coffee Cinnamon Dulce Review

I feel like I've been a good sport about this "coffee energy" craze for a while now. Sure, it was novel when Java Monster showed up, and Adina made a quality product, if you care about "saving the planet", "not getting cancer" or "being fair to people who grow coffee". At the end of the day, it's coffee. I actually started drinking energy drinks because I was tired of coffee. To me, it's as illogical as taking Mountain Dew, and putting it in a "Mountain Dew Energy" can (which is essentially what they did with Mountain Dew MDX. When the brewing is done, coffee is coffee, IMHO. I like a good cup every now and then, but I don't put a dumptruck of sugar in it. I like cold milk in my coffee, and not for taste, but because of old people. What do old people have to do with milk in my coffee, you ask? Well, for whatever reason, around 1940, it appears that people ritualistically decimated all the nerve endings in their mouths, which means they require soups and coffee, which would otherwise be safe for consumption by the general public, to be heated to a temperature unsafe for any application other than removing chewing gum from city sidewalks. Anything cooler than a slow boil, and I speculate they'll call you a communist, tell you what FDR would have done to guarantee their coffee was hot and how his host of ill-contrived Socialist ideals somehow weren't the precedents for our great decline into government stock ownership of publicly-traded (destined to be liquidated) corporations (which made GM the first national car of Socialist America).

That being said, this coffee, and come to think of it, almost all the canned coffees, are thick like milkshakes. There's a repugnant residue of sugar and guilt gelatinously coating your teeth as you drink it, and for hours afterward. I finally had to brush my teeth to escape the aftertaste.

This particular drink isn't winning any extra points for being a Starbucks product. To me, Starbucks is as gourmet and refined as McDonald's (which people appear to be discovering with the recent popularity of the McCafe). Sure, both the aforementioned taste better than what comes out of your home brown water maker every morning, but it's also not hard to make a hot dog that tastes better than a dog turd. It's like one day, people woke up and said, "Hey, this freeze dried crap that I run through a piece of paper shaped like a cupcake holder in a machine that I haven't cleaned since the oldest was in diapers...it tastes like hot garbage.". But then that spirit of patriotism, that "set in stone" "pig-headed" mentality that makes America great comes back to remind you that you'll be labeled a communist if you deviate from the universal truths, "That's what my folks always drank", along with, "That's the light bulb my folks always used", "That's the DDT my folks always sprayed" and "That's the same miles per gallon my folks always got". As a result, Folgers, JFG and Maxwell House live to see another day, we waste millions of kilowatt hours on incandescent bulbs that produce 90% heat and 10% light, and the average 2008 domestic production passenger car mpg was lower than the import average in 1985.

For me, coffee is a means to deliver caffeine, and otherwise, turn my teeth yellow and make my breath stink. I argue that there are a cornucopia of better delivery methods that cost less, taste better, are more healthy. Just don't buy coffee energy drinks, and hope they go away.